The Past

I keep trying to forget about the past but it's not all that easy to get it to just go away.

Sometimes I catch myself missing old inside jokes with my friends. Some days I just want to go exploring again with you. Some nights I find myself still missing random late night car rides with the bass up. Some times I really just miss the days when we would all go hang out at the park and swim in the lake. Some nights I really miss movie nights with my friends. Some days I wish I could go back to playing tag at recess again.

Then there are other thoughts..
Sometimes I remember stupid choices I made...wishing that mistake could be erased but it keeps reappearing. Some days I wake up hoping for things to be like they use to be then reality sets in. Some nights I wake up shaken and bothered and not even entirely sure why. Some days I carry my broken heart on my sleeve and the scars of life show. Some nights I fall asleep crying everything just taking its toll on me.

Then at times I find strength and encouragement....
I remember the times in the past when I had my best friend supporting me. I remember that during those mistakes and problems I wasn't totally alone. Some days the sun seems a little bit brighter and life a little more bearable.

But in reality nothing changes...the past doesn't go away.

I may not live in the past anymore but it's attached to me I can't seem to get rid of it. Oh the things it messes up.
I lost the one person I always had in my life and always wanted. He didn't believe. Life weighs a person down and they hit low points and sometimes can't shake it all off.

 The past should be a lesson but it can be so painful and so strong little progress is made from it.
No one ever said life would be easy....but I just wish the past would go away and reminders would vanish with it too.....
 

I see the pain

"I see the pain and the hurt in this world. I've listened to your story before.

I may not be able to change everything and make all the pain go away.

You may have too much pain to bear on your own.

I can't change everything, no I'm just one person here.

There is doubt and fear but there's another way...if you make that change.

But we have to help look around...see what's going on.

Instead of fear and worry it will be replaced with safety and hope.

Look around see the people hurting. Calling out but no one answers.

They can't see the light around the corner, we aren't helping them to see how life could be.

Children hungry watching mommy and daddy die. No one to wipe away the tears.

To take them in their arms no their all alone. How can we ignore them.

You may have too much pain to bear on your own.

I can't change everything, no I'm just one person here.

There is doubt and fear but there's another way...if you make that change.

But we have to help look around...see what's going on.

Instead of fear and worry it will be replaced with safety and hope.

A young girl sits in her room holding tight to the bottle. Working up the nerve.

The knife is laying next to her

Silly Boy

Silly boy how many times should I give you another chance...even when you've pretty much proved you don't deserve it.

 My brain is screaming run as fast as you can while my heart is screaming No you love him!!

Silly boy you don't even realize you are causing a crazy intense tug of war between my heart and mind. You have no idea you never leave my thoughts or how many tears I've cried. Silly boy dont you know I never want to let you go.

Silly boy I wish you knew exactly what i thought of you. It would be nice to say it's going to get better some day. But silly boy it never will if you aren't here still. Now wouldn't it be nice if the silly boy knew to read this too.

However he never will. Because he'll continue to do as Silly Boys do...he'll continue to be him. And you will probably never really know how I really love you so.

Silly Boy....

"The World's Not Safe Anymore"....can we make it "The World's Safe Again"?

Is this how you feel? "The world's not safe anymore!"

Well I can't tell you a lie, and say that you never have to worry about that because "of course the World Is Safe." "The World's Not Safe Anymore" and that is the honest truth. What are the dangers/problems in our world today? Well here's a list of what I have seen from my the world around me...
*fear&worry about the future
*heartbreak&now a fear of trusting again
*respect not being taught to children
*lying to get what you want or around something
*broken families
*abuse and crimes increasing
*fights and violence
*drugs being the way to deal with things for all ages
*alcohol...mistakes made while drunk trying to forget past mistakes
*financial scares and insecurity
*dangers in the streets...guns&knifes being carried sometimes
*hunger in the world which is unbareable
*disease taking over many areas
*Natural disastors that seem to increase in severity
*decaying moral values
*know knowledge of the Gospel

Now that is just a list that I came up with some from people around me other items what we know and have seen in this world. It isn't a secret to anyone that there is more violence, street danger, and abuse happening. How many people are afraid of the future and worry constantly about it...or how many people have had their hearts broken and are afraid to trust again. Families are hurting with financial strains, divorce, combined families, and in many families respect and "old" morals are not taught directly. We know that drugs and alcohol abuse is a huge issue growing daily...many people know someone who drinks or does drugs or has in the past. The world in general is hurting...look at the hunger, diseases, and disasters....it is crying out in pain. Lastly Christian morals and the Gospel message is constantly under attack, it  is the "old" ways many see it as irrelevant to their lives today.

So I will not sit here and tell you a lie the hard, cold, honest truth is...."The World's Not Safe Anymore" But how many of those things that were in the list or talked about above can we do something about? Can we work to stop the violence and abuse? What about the drug and alcohol abuse...can we fight that? What about broken or combined families possibly struggling or just with old scares healing...can we be there for them? What about hunger, disease, disasters...can we help support those causes to add them? What about someone who is afraid and worried for the future...can we encourage and support them? What about someone heart broken...can we help them rebuild their ability to trust? Now...what about the Christian morals and the Gospel story....can we help to teach this generation and all people about them and the best story ever told?

How many things above did you answer yes to? Now this isn't a survey or one of those now please support this charity things....this was simply to get you thinking. I pray nightly for God to use me to change this hurting and lost world. But I am one person and can not do everything on my own...who else in this huge world knows that there is more that they can be doing to affect the above things. "The World's Not Safe Anymore"...but there is a place that I pray you will all be in one day that is...Heaven with our heavenly Father God and Savior Jesus who loves each person and hates seeing this hurting and dangerous world.

Who else wants to make a change and try and make "The World Safe Again"? I do...do you?