Senior year nearly here

Senior year is coming up fast...last week of the summer now.
I can't believe I'm already a senior time has completely flown.
There is so very much coming up and so many big decisons to make.

It's nice to know that I'm not facing all these crazy decisons alone.
I've got a pretty big and powerful God on my side.
I also have my best friend and love of my life there beside me too.

My plan for this year?
Well I'm gonna make every day count.
Make memories that will last forever, and never be caught without my camera.

His...

Love...being in love...even though it has its ups and downs its all worth it. Why is it worth it? What makes it worth it?

His smile...reflecting his personality and giving away that he's in love with me too.

His laugh...on constant replay in my mind reminding me of his happiness and joy.

His hugs...those tight, long hugs that never seem to end letting me know he wants me close.

His heartbeat...my favorite sound to hear so steady and constant.

His goodnight calls...telling me that I'm on his mind and we hear eachothers voice before we fall asleep.

His cheesey little phrases...his way of expressing what he feels and they always make me laugh.

Walks to the park, or movies together...fun sweet memories being made every time.

His heart...one that is centered on God and that I know I am in as well.


Why is it worth it? What makes it worth it? Well there's a few of my reasonings. I would have never been able to try and explain it before but now I can.

Why can I? Because I have him in my life...my perfect other half who I plan on spending the rest of my whole life with.
 

Love God and love others...2 greatest commandments.

So my latest 'insight' is that there are two commandments which people need to start following. The first is love God and the second is love others. So if we trace all the problems in this world and all the sins going on what is lacking? Yep you're right love. Imagine if people today just focused on these two commandments. How would the world look today if people focused and followed those. Well the answer is a lot different.

So instead of all these people and churches arguing over tiny little differences teach that! There are silly little denomination arguements and those are all tools of the devil. We all argue with each other over tattoos, and piercings right and wrong. But hey when we are arguing over that we are wasting time which could be directed on Helping people.

Yes discipline is important don't think i am saying differently. But when we spend all our time arguing with each other and forcing views down brand new or struggling Christians throats how much are we really accomplishing?

I encouage and challenge you to take a step back. How affective have your efforts been lately at helping people. Or have you lately been more damaging to relationships. Everyone goes about things in a different way but here's my question for you. In everything you do are you loving God first and then loving people?

If you just answered no I encourage you to step back and make some changes.

Intriguing 'puzzles'

Something that has always intrigued me is a 'puzzle' which is just begging to be solved.

So imagine this type of scenario:
Random calls, strange circumstances, strange messages. Intriguing isn't it? You have no idea. Haha. It's just begging me to try and 'solve' it.

Imagine if I had all the same skills that I watch daily on tv. It would be so much fun and chances are not too many people would mess with me.

Well anyways it slightly surprises me that i've never had my mind set on a career in crime solving. It would be quite a fun challenge for me. :)

no more sugar coating stuff

Church time...
Been listening to alot of Lecrae lately. He points out what is wrong and doesn't sugar coat it. So why is it such a struggle for us to point out what is wrong in the life of our fellow believers? We are always so careful not to scare or offend anyone which often means sugar coating it. But if someone's sinning it means they are being seperated from God. And if we don't call them out on it...then where are they headed? Stop sugar coating stuff and get real so we can actually change this world.  

replace worry and crying

When all you're doing is worrying and crying you have to change something. And NO I don't mean to give up and change your heart. But step back and shake your head and replace the worry with prayer and the crying with praise.

Challenging but necessary....God will see you through the tough struggles coming your way, even when you don't think He will or can....He WILL and CAN.

Time Confusion

"Need some time..."

this phrase right here is what I have been challenged to understand. .

Guys are always saying how confusing women are, and how they'll never understand them. But come on guys you aren't being fair. Because frankly you aren't all that easy to understand either.

The initial reaction to such a phrase in my mind is analysing. I try to find what I have done wrong try and identify the cause of this phrase. Then when I can't find one I just become confused.

Trying to understand guys is not half as easy as I thoguht it was. I'm usually good at understanding and reading people but sometimes you just can't.

I guess what conclusion I've come to  is.... time is something precious and it's not to be wasted. Time is the only resource you can't get back. So yes having soem time can be beneficial...but remember that is tiem you can't get back. Also i've decied that guys are just as confusing as girls. And I will be spending my entire life trying to understand the love of my life.

Unhelpful input

People keep saying if your older things have a greater chance of working out and lasting. But seriously that advice isn't helpful it's depressing. Honestly I say if the two people can make it and are happy stay out of it and don't put doubts into it.

Us...

I wrote this when I was afraid of losing the person who means the most to me. The sad part I wrote it and never showed it to him, because two days later I lost him. Now I just need to be able to share it...so I decided I would blog it. I wish he knew to look at this blog because then maybe he would see how serious I am about hating this break up.


Never thought I would feel this heart break
Never thought it would exist
Much worse than I would have ever guessed
More final than I would ever wish

One day everything is wonderful
Remembering God's perfect timing
Then everything changes the next day
Nothing feels quite the same

Still I sit here waiting for you to call
Waiting for a message about anything from you
I know it's silly because you won't
Keeping my phone by my side just in case

Your voice is stuck in my head
I hear you say 'I love you'
Your laugh is on constant repeat
I hear my voice echo you saying 'I love you too'

I can feel your arms around me
I remember the taste of your lips
I close my eyes and remember every moment
I look around and memories flood my thoughts

Now my heart is torn in two
However the whole thing belongs to you
I am terrified of this feeling
When are you coming back?

You are everything I need and want
You claimed the same thing towards me
Why would we want to throw this away?
I know deep down it is a mistake

I need you
You need me
We're better together than apart
We have a hold of each other's hearts

Your name is engraved on my heart
That's something that can not simply be erased
You are a part of me please stay
I don't want you to go away

This can't just become the past
What about our future we had planned?
The gifts and letters?
Where are they sitting now?

Look at all our pictures together
The laughs and memories with them
Love reflected from our eyes
Your smile and mine they can't lie

We love each other and it is true
This feeling was so new to both of us
Did it become to much?
Did fear and doubt sit in?

Together we could get through all of this
We're stronger and happier when together
God is right with us, and we know it
Sometimes we just don't see it right away

If we stick this out we'll see it through
Come out stronger, wiser, closer
Things have been fixed before
Why can't we give this all time to fix?

I want to always be right here for you
Holding you up through life's struggles
Like you have always been there for me
We are best friends and fit together so well

Do you really want this to change?
I love you and you love me
Don't sacrifice that lightly
Relationships take work not giving in and leaving

God's got us covered, we just have to hold on
Change may be good...but not separately
We can get through this, I know
With a deep breath, prayer and each other

God will see us through...
We can still be together.

Smile

I can smile and fool the world

I can smile and fool my family

I can smile and fool my friends

But I don't want to smile and fool you

I want you to know that I am hurting

I want you to know that I miss you

I want you to know that I love you

But I can't do anything 'til you realize that you are/do too.